August 7, 2012

I will glance at my circumstances and gaze at YOU -

Those are the words from my devotions this morning.  WOW - that is powerful to me.  I realize that most of my life this is how I have lived.  I have made God a part of my life since I was 13, but during the majority of that time since I left college at Moody in Chicago.  God has just been getting my glances.  I acknowledged him, but he was like notes that I glanced at on Sunday and Wednesday.  The rest of the week he was not a priority.

Oh there were times that I made him a priority, but mostly he has been on the sidelines waiting patiently for me to please let HIM be the center of everything.  He loved me and wanted me to just trust him, which to my own detriment I really thought I was trusting him and letting him guide me, but the reality is that I was trying to do it without really being dedicated and consecrated to Him.

I was like the children of Isreal coming back and forth as the time dictated.  I was in church most of the time and trying to act like my life was committed to the Lord, but I have to admit that I was not really dedicated.  I was faking it.

Well, Lord from this morning on I am yours.  Fully dedicated and I will go where you want me to go and do what you want me to do.  I am trembling as I type this.  I know that this means there will be lots of changes in my life, but I can't live my life without God being the center of my life anymore.  God, I am your child and have been for a long time, but I have been like the children of Israel who were afraid to let you guide them into the promise land.  God I am no longer afraid to be in the promise land.  I give all my life to you.  Totally and completely to you.  No matter where it takes me I promise I will stay in your word and pray everyday.  I no longer want to be Luke warm.  Help me have the passion and love for you that makes me a kind and compassionate person and loves everyone the way you loved them.  God I love you.

Prayer from HCBS Selwyn Hughes - O God, my Father, forgive me that my life is taken up more with the immediate than the ultimate. I have been glancing at You and gazing at my circumstances.  From today it will be different -- I will glance at my circumstances and glaze at you.  AMEN