August 1, 2012

What is going on inside this crazy head of mine?

For the second night in a row I did not sleep well last night and of course that makes me wake up feeling bad and like I am back in my old life which I did not love.  So I am thinking to myself what am I going to do different to change this pattern.  I think it is a result of me listening to myself and not God.

My devotions this morning were about a king who wanted to join forces with another king who refused to listen to prophet Micah because he was always telling him things he did not want to hear.  Then the scriptures of Paul when he says that he use to be a prosecute the christians and then the Lord turned him to himself and Paul went out and spread the gospel often at great peril to himself. 

So I am understanding that what goes on inside my head is not always what is right.  Sometimes I just have to stop and listen to the Lord and follow what and where is guiding.  Even if it scares me to death.  He will not ask me to do anything that I cannot do.  It is the devil that is pushing me to ignore the Lord, but if I love Him the way I claim to love Him then I will do what he says.  I am like Moses saying that I can't do it, please chose someone else, but guess what, I don't want someone else Alice.  I want you.  I want you to stand and take my gospel to those around.  I want you to help those who need to lose weight.  I don't want to fail.  I want you to have an amazing and wonderful life that you could never dream of if you stayed in that crazy head of yours.

Trust me now and be transformed into the wonderful Butterfly that is beautiful and no one can ignore.  You have it in you.  Just trust me I know what I am doing and I have everything under my control.  Can't you see that.  Can't you just trust me.  Take my hand right now and step out into the future holding it.  Let me guide you and show you how to walk again in this wonderful place that I have prepared for you.  Trust Me. Trust Me. Trust Me. Love Me. Obey Me, Let Me guide you.

I don't want to go through the motions.  I want your life flowing through me.  Take me all the way Lord.  I want to feel You Lord.  I want to show You to everyone.  I want you all consuming passion inside of me.  Lord make me the person You can use.  Take me all the way Lord to where and what you want me doing.  Make me walk one step at a time in You.