July 28, 2012

Today is a new day - a New Life - A New Way of THINKING.

It is surprising what a good night sleep can do for the frazzled person.  I feel refreshed this morning and excited to start a new day.  Even more exciting is that I have officially lost 19 lbs, only one more lb and I will be at 20 lbs.  I was so stressed yesterday would have never thought I could lose 1lb under those circumstances, but I started the 21 day cleanse the first of this week and it has really made a difference.  YIPPEE - Thank you Jesus for letting me find this program that makes me feel better and wake up alert every morning and ready to spend time with you.  Thank you for letting me lose this weight and stop believing the lies that I have to be fat.  That I just can't lose weight.  That I was never meant to be skinny.  I rebuke all these thoughts and I claim the promise of health and freedom to do what I want to do.  Lord I want to travel oversees and do mission trips.  I want to go and do great things for you everyday.  The more weight I lost the more freedom I feel for those things. I am sorry that I gave up my dream to help people in the poverty in the hills of WV.  God I am open to being able to go wherever you want me to go and help people.

The next thing I want to do is overcome the lies of hating to work out.  I have to just go and workout without saying all those crazy things in my head.  I love to workout.  I love to workout. I love to workout.  I love to workout.  I love to workout. - saying this out loud - So I can reprogram my brain to let go of the lies I have always told myself. 

I realize that I have told myself so many lies that have held me down.  Lies that -  I can't do something because I don't how -  I am afraid of people -  I am shy - I will always be fat -  I can't make worth much of myself because I grew up poor - I am not as smart as other people. 

I just have to realize that I am not what I have always told myself.  I am going to go into to the world and meet this hurting and lost world who is so sad and disappointed in their lives and be a light to them.  All I have to do is smile and encourage.  Tell people that Jesus loves them. I am called to be the light of the world.  I can't keep hiding that under a bush ell I just need to share it.  I will start with teaching the Photo Class.  I will be bold and help these people.  I will also conduct the Weight Loss Program to try and help people who want to lose weight and be healthy.

I also realize that I have always held myself back from being what I could really be out of fear.  God I rebuke the fear and ask for your holy fear of you. Help me live my life in the FEAR OF THE LORD.  Lord I ask that I will walk everyday in your fear.  Lord give me boldness and help me to trust you and walk in what you have said and not in what I have made myself believe in my brain.

Also I rebuke my judgmental attitude.  Lord I have always judged people to some extent which has created a fear in me of people.  A fear that they are judging me when they see me too.  God I give you my attitude and ask you to replace this judgmental attitude that I learned as a child and give me a spirit of acceptance.  I want to meet people where they are and love them for who they are no matter what their circumstances.  I Lord help me see them like you see them.

 Let this begin right here with my husband.  Lord - I love Mike, but I have done him an injustice by not loving him unconditionally.  Lord help me love him the way you love him and accept him for who he is and not what I want to make him.  When I accept him as he is I know you can use him where and how you want him.  I will pray for him instead.  I pray that you will give him a spirit of fearlessness.  Help him to pass his classes so that he can believe in himself and stop judging himself and not liking the person he is.  He is a very special person and kind and gentle and has a huge heart.  He loves you and really wants to serve you.  So Lord help him to do just that.

Today is a big post because I am learning to Love myself and the people around me unconditionally.  I am learning to think and live my life the way the Lord wants me to.  With his LOVE.  If you are wondering where all this could be coming from. You need to start listening to or reading
www.danijohnson.com.  She is the most powerful person.  She is a Godly woman who is really reaching into the hearts of people and teaching them to let go of who they are if it is not getting you what you want.  She does it in a Godly prospective and for the first time I can see how all these negatives in my life have to be let go.  So here it is Lord - It is your I am a vessel in your hands - Take this piece of Clay and mold me into what will make me what you want me to be.

From my devotions today:
Gracious and loving heavenly Father, help me to repent deeply. May I know at this moment a turning from self-dependence to God-dependence. I give You my willingness --- now give me Your power. -- Selwyn Hughes